Wherefore art thou?

They say you get 3 great loves in your life. Who’s “they” you ask? I have no freakin’ idea.

I have a lot going on, but there’s one thing in particular that has taken a third-row seat over the past 4 years: my love life. After going through a divorce I wasn’t expecting (more on that later), it’s no wonder that dating hasn’t really been a top priority. I tried online dating a bit, met an awesome guy who I really liked only to learn what “ghosting” meant 3 months later. Why is that a thing? Ghosting, I mean. It’s vicious and cowardly and has left me questioning what I might have done wrong every day since.

Anyway, I often question if I have already had my 3 great loves. Like a cat with nine lives, (I hate cats), maybe I’m out? I know for sure I’ve had 2, with a couple of close contenders for the 3rd. Or, maybe I’m just too trusting and fall too hard? Entirely possible

Let me get you up to speed on 1 and 2.

1. My first love – We met in the 7th grade. Don’t roll your eyes! I’m serious! He is the one person I compare anyone I’m dating to. We were inseparable. Talked for hours, about anything and everything. Then, his dad got a job in Florida and moved the family across the country. I was devastated. I went with them to Florida for a week when they first moved but in hindsight it was just delaying the inevitable heartbreak. I remember listening to the new Jewel CD and sobbing the entire flight home. Still to this day, I think about our connection and wish I could find that with someone again. We did try to make a go of things later in life but the timing was always off. He’s now happily married with 3 beautiful daughters and living in, get this, MASSACHUSETTS! 🤦🏼‍♀️

2. My husband – Well, ex-husband. The father of my son. This one goes without saying. I fell in love with him when we were working together. He was my boss which is normally bad form but, it just happened. He had to train me so we had lunches together where we talked about about our lives. I was drawn to his intelligence and attractiveness. He also had a 4-year-old son at the time that he had full custody of. I admired what a great dad he was and how much he sacrificed to raise his son. He proposed in Paris, we had our dream wedding and our son was born. One day everything was fine and the next, it wasn’t. I didn’t know how or why it was happening but he had changed, drastically. I took my son and moved back home for what I expected to be a brief period. My ex was diagnosed with bi-polar. Unfortunately, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with him and didn’t want to get help. I assured him it was nothing to be ashamed of and he could live a completely normal life with the right medication. Everyone tried but no one could get through. I filed for divorce a year later.

So, there is part of my story. I’m holding on to the hope that one of the other contenders wasn’t #3 and he is still out there somewhere.

Maybe I’ll find him, someday, in my spare time.

Love,

The Benefits

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