The 10 Things you Shouldn’t Say to a Single Parent

It’s amazing the things people will say to you when they find out you’re a single parent. It’s as if they have lost all self control and are just spewing out the first things that come to mind. It gets awkward for a minute when I answer back with a sarcastic response.

In order to prevent more of these interactions in the future, I’ve outlined the 10 things you shouldn’t say to a single parent – and how I’ll respond if you do.


1. How do you do it?

Do what exactly? Raise my son? The same way I would if I was still married. I work hard to provide for him and give him as much love as humanly possible. Some days are harder than others but we make it work! Our house is filled with so much love. That’s how I “do” it!

2. Where is his father?

At this very moment? I’m not sure. I don’t keep tabs on him because he has his own life. My son sees his dad every 6-weeks or so. It’s not ideal but it is what works for us right now. And, quite frankly, it’s no ones business but ours.

3. Did you at least try to make it work?

Again, it is no ones business what did or did not happen to my marriage. I can tell you that I didn’t get divorced over a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.

4. It must be so hard!

Parenting is hard! It’s hard whether or not you have a partner. So, of course being a single parent is hard, but it’s also rewarding. Seeing my son grow into a polite, smart, funny, caring and happy little boy and knowing that I did that…well…there’s no better feeling.

5. You must have a lot of help

We have a wonderfully supportive family that live close. However, they are the same supportive family we would have if I weren’t a single mom. The only difference is, I probably appreciate their help even more as a single mom.

6. What do you do with your son while you work full time?

Typically, I leave out a sandwich and let him know he’s on his own. I tell him not to answer the door to strangers then I kiss his forehead and head to work. REALLY!? What do you think I do? He goes to a wonderful daycare that is clean and safe. Just because I’m a working single mom doesn’t mean I would ever sacrifice getting the best care for my son.

7. Is your son okay?

Gosh, I hope so! I’m a worrier so I ask myself this question at least 572,921 times a day. Thanks to you, I’m now up to 572,922.

8. Have you spoken to someone?

I speak to lots of people! I love meeting and conversing with different people all the time! Grocery store, Facebook, daycare. If you’re asking me if I have gone to a counselor or psychiatrist, I’m done talking to you since that’s a wildly inappropriate question.

9. Do you ever get any alone time?

Actually, no. It’s very rare. I made the decision to have a child and any decision made after that doesn’t matter. I’m raising my son and he comes first, always! And, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

10. You poor things!

Poor? We are in no way, shape or form poor! I work my butt off to support us financially and I work my butt off to raise my son with manners, honesty, respect and lots and lots of love!


  1. Jessica

    April 23, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Here’s what I know about being a single mom: everything I see you do, as I admire it. Anyone who has any other opinion is rude and should keep their thoughts to themselves. You amaze me! 😘

    1. abenefit

      April 23, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      You’re the best! ❀️❀️

  2. cfife

    April 28, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    do people really ask questions like this? all they have to do is look at how wonderful turner is and they’d know you’re doing more than a good job raising him, single mother or not!

    1. abenefit

      April 28, 2017 at 3:36 pm

      You’re the sweetest! Thank you! And yes, people really ask questions like this πŸ™„

  3. Michele

    May 4, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Omg. His made me laugh so hard!! The audacity of some people shock me. This is a wonderfully funny and informative post (to those without social skills! πŸ˜‚ Great job!

    1. abenefit

      May 4, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      Haha! Thanks, Michele! I should say that not everyone has the audacity to ask such questions. Some people actually have a filter! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. Mama802

    May 4, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Such a great read. I’ve heard people asking a friend of mine those very questions. My friend just replies with “Thank you Captain Obvious!”

    1. abenefit

      May 4, 2017 at 12:03 pm

      Ha! It’s so true! As if parents don’t questions themselves enough already. I can guarantee that anything you ask me has already gone through my head at least a hundred times. But, thanks for bringing it up! πŸ™„

  5. Sarah

    May 4, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    You sound like an amazing parent, with a great attitude. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve probably muttered some forms of 1 and 4 to people, but the rest of them, I can’t believe people would say! I will be more cognizant about saying these things, your answers really made me question what kind of answer I was looking expecting. What a great post – I loved reading it!

    1. abenefit

      May 4, 2017 at 1:12 pm

      Thanks, Sarah! I appreciate it! It’s funny how harmless some of the questions seem but they can have a big impact. It is also very different to be asked these questions by close friends or family versus complete strangers. Thanks for reading and being open minded to a new perspective!

  6. Jeni

    May 4, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    I was/am a single mom. I so agree with your 10 points. Folks are just down right rude and think you have to answer their intrusive questions. But glad you know how to handle yourself.

    1. abenefit

      May 4, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Thanks, Jeni! It’s funny the things people will say. I’m glad you think I’m saying the right things.

  7. Maria Guadalupe

    May 4, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    Great post. Loved it. Sometimes I can’t believe what people ask! I would be rude in my answers. You seem really nice by the answers.

    1. abenefit

      May 4, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Awe! Thank you! I appreciate the support!

  8. Shelanda Brown

    May 19, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Being a single parent is almost the norm these days. Someone that asked these questions are more prone to get into your personal business. Great article! I wish you much success.

  9. Pip

    July 7, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    I’m a single mum and I must admit it has become a little more difficult because my boys have hit the teenage years. However, since being divorced my home environment has become a lot calmer, so even though it can be difficult money wise, our lives together are better and we are doing ok, x Good post x

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